Isn’t it typical of women to hate their own hair? We take the hair God gave us and trade it for something better. Cutting. Coloring. Damaging with heat (and getting yelled at by stylists for it). Girls with curls want the straight that straight girls are desperate to volumize. Girls with bangs are growing them out. Girls with no bangs are thinking about getting them. This is insanity.
I wish I could say that I were personally exempt from this trend of hair self-hatred, but I too wish for better locks. I’ve been growing mine out for awhile and now it’s just about as long as it’s ever been/ever will be, but I find there to be issues with zippers, buttons on the backs of blouses, tangles while brushing, and wind/lip gloss issues. Why can’t it just be effortlessly perfect?
When I try to curl it, it looks good for about twenty minutes, and then it falls flat. See photo below. Forty minutes on the iron and the result didn’t even last until I made it to my destination.
Plus, it’s too thin.
And there’s a gray one mixed in there now, too. What’s this, you say? A gray at 27? Yes. Either that or a very very very light blonde strand, which is what I’m kind of telling myself as a way to deal with the fact that this has happened to me before I have been able to find a husband. Pa-thet-ic.
Worst of all, when I told my mother about the gray, she told my brother Johnny. Johnny responded to this news by texting me that I could always be pretty as long as Clairol existed. Thanks, brother, ya jerk.
In other hair-related news, I’ve noticed that it’s falling out. A lot. It happens mostly when I comb through it while it’s wet. I estimate that maybe around 20-30 strands come out. I promptly remove them from the teeth of the comb and place them in the trash so that I don’t really think about it too much and freak myself out. Is this normal? I’m also wondering if maybe it was happening all along and I’m only really noticing it now because my hair is longer than it’s ever really been and therefore there’s simply more of it? I don’t know.
Maybe I should solve all these worries by shaving it all off and buying a wig. Too creepy?