Every night before I go to bed I tell myself something like this:
“You’re going to wake up on time tomorrow, Kuhn. You’re going to get the second-to-last train, not the last one. You’re going to have plenty of time to get ready, find a cute outfit, defrost your car, hell, even throw some lunch items in your bag so you won’t have to go to Whole Foods again. All you need to do is just not hit the snooze button 4-7 times and life can be perfect for you.”
I tell this same thing to myself in more pleading and grizzly tones while in the shower the next morning, after 4-7 hits to the snooze button. “You should have gotten up on the first alarm, Kuhn. Now you’re going to be late. Now you have to take the fastest shower in the world and you won’t have time to dry your hair or grab lunch items and you’re sure as heck not making the second-to-last train but if you run like the wind to your car and drive like a madlady then maybe just maybe JUST MAYBE you can make the last train (if you RUN once again like the WIND and get a nice conductor who happens to notice that you’re not very athletic and who decides to wait for you). You really most definitely need to wake up on time tomorrow, Kuhn.”
I don’t know why I don’t listen to myself.
I did a little digging and I think maybe I’ve got a delayed circadian rhythm. Ask me to stay up until midnight on a school night and that’s easy as pie for me. Ask me to wake up even five minutes earlier than I am already supposed to be waking up (6:30 would give me a good hour and ten minutes to make my preferred train) and I’ll grumble and become quite upset. I simply can’t do it. Try as I might, it won’t happen.
Even if I do manage to get myself into my bed at a normal human time like 10:30 or 11 it does no good. I’ll thrash around in the sheets unable to drift off. I’ll think about this and that, and often my thoughts very well do wander over to the topic of how I wish I could fall asleep. But I can’t.
For this reason, I avoid early morning flights. I appreciate a job where I can saunter in at 11 a.m. I don’t make plans with friends until as late in the day as I can possibly convince them. Dinner at 9? Not unheard of!
This inability to wake up conveniently in time for a 9 to 5 is really messing with my life. I want it to stop getting in my way. I want to wake up without effort at 6 just like everyone else. Wouldn’t that be lovely?
So I think I’m going to buy a sunrise simulator alarm clock. Does anyone have experience with those? Think it will solve my probs?
Yawn. Oh. It’s 11:21 p.m. Time for me to go toss and turn for an hour until I get bored enough to nod off.
Peace, love, cookies.